What Makes You, You

There are very few things that connects all humans to each other. Most of things that do are also taboo to talk discuss in many of the world societies (death, pain). 

One thing that does connect us all to each other coincidentally is the same that keeps us apart, identity. 

After our podcast episode Trickle Down Effect it had me contemplating how I’ve defined myself throughout my life. So when I began writing this I was focused on the greater identity of people - race, ethnicity and or nationality. Things that are defined but not concrete, to me. Identity is how you see yourself and maybe more important, how people see you. 

While I still find these things to be true an impromptu conversation with my boss Thursday changed my thinking. 

Before our meeting my boss shared a story of one of his first jobs and the struggles he was facing at the time. Long story short, he was busting his ass at a job that didn’t pay enough. On one particular night his work finds him reading about a classmate who at the time seems to be on top of the world and in turn makes him wonder if he has any clue of what’s going on. Only to find out later that wasn’t necessary the case for his friend or ultimately him. 

And that struck me. My focus of identity in society had been focused primarily on the macro issues that I overlooked some of our most important micro ones that ultimately define us. 

Educational institutions, occupations and neighborhoods are just as important to our identity, but why? 

My first argument would be that our current economic system pushes the commercialization of identities, whether we know or not. And for that reason we’re in a never ending cycle of trying to define ourselves through people and things. 

While blaming capitalism for all issues is always fair. This felt different. Like there was something else at hand. 

But then the story my boss told me comes to mind and maybe it’s not just capitalism. Maybe it’s the simple act of judging the livelihood of others without full detail. Maybe it’s the pressures of keeping up with the jones. Maybe it’s a lack of confidence that makes it easier to judge and critique then actually do. Maybe it’s just life, and we’ll never know exactly why things turn out how they turn out. 

Luckily for me - my boss got out of his rut and close to 30 years later I have a job that whether I’ve realized it or not has probably defined me for the greater part of my 20s. But also luckily for me, I’ve wrestled with what it means to be me. And I’m confident work nor anything else is the whole me.